“You are going through the death of an identity.” These words came from my therapist’s mouth one random Friday a few months ago, and while I don’t remember the specifics of the day or what I was talking about right before they were uttered, that moment will forever be a marker in time of a…
Author: daniellekuhl
Fury
My COVID test came back positive today, December 4, 2020. I was tested on Tuesday Dec 1, 2020. I have been voluntarily getting tested every two weeks since returning to work five months ago. I had a dull earache earlier this week and a minor headache in the morning on Tuesday. I have worked out…
Shedding
Dollops of dermis detached from my bodysliced away and sterile Housing what harmsThe cost of living in the light I shed what no longer serves me The purposeful punishment of the physique becomesa moving meditation morphing into prayer I rejoice in the agony of the fleshBeads of sweat standing as penance, become floods I shed what no…
Lost
Uncertainty. It’s taking its toll. Having reached new, previously undiscovered depths it is wreaking havoc and reaping the rewards of its bounty. Said bounty? My certainty of the world and my place in it. As a result, I am lost. Lost in my body. Lost in my mind. The fall has come people. No, not…
Coming Home
I step in and the scent of sunshine and wood, pine and earth cascades over me like water, filling me up. It is a scent that is fresh and ancient, umami and sweet. It is a scent that I know like the back of my hand and yet Each rendezvous is its own affair. It…
Some Thoughts on Some Thoughts
Similar to last week I have been struggling to find a topic to focus on, as my thoughts seem to be everywhere and nowhere. I have been reading everyday and listening to an unacceptable amount of podcasts, and ideas have definitely been mulling around, but my mind doesn’t seem ready to take a deep dive…
Hiking in the Wind – An Allegory
Another rough week. Motivation has been at an all time low. Usually when that happens I can call on my pal Discipline to back me up, and she usually gets me through. But that is pre-pandemic talk so… Regardless, I’m mustering and I’m moving forward. I know she’s there – but she’s weak, dull, frail,…
How are You?
How are You? I have been asked this question countless times by friends and loved ones since this whole Covid-19 shit hit the fan and I have to say that even on a “normal, pre-pandemic” day I don’t really know how to answer it – but with the way things are now…? There’s often a…
This is Anxiety.
Hello friends. Before we get to my thoughts this week, I feel it necessary to explain a post I made on social-media a few days ago. It is a picture of me on a hike with a harrowing expression on my face. The caption read: “This is the face of anxiety. It’s been a rough…
Spilling My Guts
Starting this journey of personal growth and transformation has pushed me to examine all aspects of my existence. It has given breath and space to the practice of processing things that I’ve pushed down and thought I’ve moved beyond – It has forced me to take a solid look not only at how I am…