Beat down by imposter syndrome and perfectionism I haven’t posted anything on my blog in close to a year. As part of intentional healing I am making a promise to myself to get back into the flow of writing and posting it regardless of whether it is “polished” or not – whether it is what…
Author: daniellekuhl
We Tried
We tried.Oh, how we tried. Plans put on hold. Social circle weanedto us, plus two, sometimes plus four. We learned to live in this new world. We tried.At first we doubted and disbelieved.And then we raged. Learning to trustand mistrust, fissures fused or formed.We sought solace in those we knew were our own. We tried. Getting back into our work. Exhausted…
A World of Divide
__________ I have, not so much a memory, but a series of sensory images from when I was very young, maybe two years old, of riding on my Dad’s back. I am in one of those 80’s blue canvas and steel backpacks, looking out over his right shoulder at a large body of water. It…
Remembering
My Uncle Brian passed away a couple of days ago. I wrote this piece to be read at his funeral. Wanted to share. All we have is now sweet friends. __________ When someone we know and love passes on, we are called into a season of remembering. Remembering who they were, the life they led,…
The Ripening
It started like this: There are times in life when you make decisions that lead to consequences so significant, so impactful, so enormous that they change who you are and what you know to be true at the most basic and fundamental levels. I wanted to go from there and reveal what I had done…
The Death of an Identity
“You are going through the death of an identity.” These words came from my therapist’s mouth one random Friday a few months ago, and while I don’t remember the specifics of the day or what I was talking about right before they were uttered, that moment will forever be a marker in time of a…
Fury
My COVID test came back positive today, December 4, 2020. I was tested on Tuesday Dec 1, 2020. I have been voluntarily getting tested every two weeks since returning to work five months ago. I had a dull earache earlier this week and a minor headache in the morning on Tuesday. I have worked out…
Shedding
Dollops of dermis detached from my bodysliced away and sterile Housing what harmsThe cost of living in the light I shed what no longer serves me The purposeful punishment of the physique becomesa moving meditation morphing into prayer I rejoice in the agony of the fleshBeads of sweat standing as penance, become floods I shed what no…
Lost
Uncertainty. It’s taking its toll. Having reached new, previously undiscovered depths it is wreaking havoc and reaping the rewards of its bounty. Said bounty? My certainty of the world and my place in it. As a result, I am lost. Lost in my body. Lost in my mind. The fall has come people. No, not…
Coming Home
I step in and the scent of sunshine and wood, pine and earth cascades over me like water, filling me up. It is a scent that is fresh and ancient, umami and sweet. It is a scent that I know like the back of my hand and yet Each rendezvous is its own affair. It…