Most days, for me at least, teaching feels manageable, doable, and yes, even in this climate, hopeful.
And then there are days like Tuesday…
Days where you look around and everything and everyone feels miserable and impossible. When the true insanity of what we, as educators, are being asked to do really sinks in and settles in the pit of your stomach, and it’s all you can do to not just sit down in the middle of your classroom and cry deep and bitter tears, because nothing you do is working, nothing matters, you are literally making no difference whatsoever, and why should you keep trying because its all for shit, and omg this is ridiculous is anyone seeing this? Hello?
There are many reasons a teacher gets to this point and to be honest, it is the reality for far too many every single day. I am not going to get into all of those reasons right now because you would all fall asleep and well, I think a podcast about teaching is a better platform to air out and work through those grievances – side note, yes, I have wanted to start a teaching podcast since before the pandemic hit, and have used every excuse in the book to put it off, and my friends are tired of me sitting on the pot and not doing anything about it, so maybe posting it publicly to all of you will actually cause me to get my act together and stop pretending that I don’t know how to do it and really grapple with the fact that it’s just about the fear of the unknown and the potential failure that awaits, and blah blah blah, and yes, I have a name for it: The Kuhl Teacher Podcast – gold right!? What am I waiting for?
Alas, days like Tuesday weigh heavily on my heart. In education, as in every other profession, the problems are vast and incredibly profound, and there are times when it feels like you are screaming into the void, and you truly question why you are putting yourself through this.
But then, the mood lightens. A student cracks a joke, you get a good night’s sleep, you have a drink with a friend, your daughter has her first dance recital and you remember that teaching is a metaphor for life and we are all just trying to figure it out one step at a time – moment by moment – bird by motherfuckin’ bird.
Without question, teaching is something that I love and it is something that I happen to be good at, which I believe is mostly because I lean into the fact that I don’t know shit and I want to figure it out. Okay, so here’s my declaration – look for The Kuhl Teacher Podcast to hit in January of 2023. I’ll be coming at you on that platform with the goal of unveiling to listeners what teaching is really like on a day to day basis, exposing the deep, systemic issues within the field, and just trying to figure it all out one nuanced conversation at a time.