Similar to last week I have been struggling to find a topic to focus on, as my thoughts seem to be everywhere and nowhere. I have been reading everyday and listening to an unacceptable amount of podcasts, and ideas have definitely been mulling around, but my mind doesn’t seem ready to take a deep dive into any one of them just yet. So instead of forcing something that just isn’t quite there, I thought I would give a brief introduction into a few of the mental meanderings that have recently been making their presence known.
A note before we begin. Much of my thinking has been inspired by people and things you’ve already “heard” me talk about. If I sound like a broken record it’s because every time I expose myself to the work created by these people I am inspired to continuously come back for more.
- “Tribe of Mentors” by Timothy Ferriss. The current non-fiction book of choice is an anthology of “Short Life Advice From the Best in the World”, wherein Ferriss posed a set of questions and the contributors, or “mentors”, selected which ones they wanted to respond to. Their wisdom was then compiled into this extraordinary text – a true keepsake that just keeps doling out nuggets of insight with every turn of the page. There’s also a podcast of the same name if your mind prefers listening to reading.
- The “Jocko Podcast” with Jocko Willink and Echo Charles. Not going to lie, every episode of this podcast is a straight commitment. The lengths vary, but we are talking anywhere from 2-4+ hours per episode – so you have to be in it to win it, for sure. The last two episodes I have chosen to listen to have focused on the life stories and experiences of two exceptional men: Episode #221: The Unimaginable Path of Jonny Kim. SEAL Combat Medic, Doctor, Astronaut. – and Episode #224: In An Uncertain World, Stack The Deck In Your Favor. With Darryl Cooper.
One thing the 75Hard has refreshed in me is the striving to be better and to constantly be reaching out towards my greatest potential. A big part of that is the practice of actively and continuously opening my mind, and seeking out opportunities for learning and growth. The media that I choose to expose myself to is purposeful and meant to push me outside of my comfort zone. I select things that force me to take stock of my own life – things that make me uncomfortable and even angry at times. I pick things that push me to reexamine what I believe to be true and right about the world, and my place in it.
So here’s what’s up in thekuhlhuman’s mind at the moment:
- Suffering is the seed of change.
The following excerpt is from “Tribe of Mentors”. It’s a quote from Naval Ravikant in response to the question: “How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?”
“Suffering is a moment of clarity, when you can no longer deny the truth of a situation and are forced into uncomfortable change. I’m lucky that I didn’t get everything I wanted in my life, or I’d be happy with my first good job, my college sweetheart, my college town. Being poor when young led to making money when old. Losing faith in my bosses and elders made me independent and an adult. Almost getting into the wrong marriage helped me recognize and enter the right one. Falling sick made me focus on my health. It goes on and on. Inside suffering is the seed of change.”
It’s crazy how poignant this is right now. How many of us have had to reckon with the truth of this pandemic and have been forced to change the way we live, interact, and think as a result? The truth is, all of us – whether we want to admit it or not… lookin’ at you, you non social distancers. The beginning of this week was even more harrowing, and fraught with anxiety, than the last, and reading these words was like drinking a cool glass of water. The idea that suffering leads to change is not a new one to me, but it served as a fresh and stark reminder that often times when you’re in the shitter, it is difficult to put into practice, let alone recall and remember, wisdom that would give you the perspective you needed to pull yourself out of the depths of your own vicious and destructive thought cycles and patterns.
The Takeaway: Keep reading, keep learning – keep a log of helpful quotes and words of wisdom that you can go back to whenever you’re feeling lackadaisical, lost, or just plain low.
- Resenting “obstacles” on the path of life.
The following excerpt is also from “Tribe of Mentors”. From Jenna Levin in response to the question: “In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?”
“I used to resent obstacles along the path, thinking, “If only that hadn’t happened life would be so good.” Then I suddenly realized, life is the obstacles. There is no underlying path. Our role here is to get better at navigating those obstacles. I strive to find calm, measured responses and to see hindrences as a chance to problem-solve. Often I fall back into old frustrations, but if I remind myself, this is a chance to step up, I can reframe conflicts as a chance to experiment with solutions.”
As a self-diagnosed Type-A personality sufferer, I have this frustrating and limiting habit of thinking that I have to get everything “done” before I can breathe. That I have to solve every problem, that I need to check off every task – my entire life to-do list – before I am allowed to relax. I do this all day long: Picking up the house constantly – Not being able to go to bed until the kitchen is perfectly cleaned up from dinner – Grading 145 essays all at once so that it can “just be done and out of my life” – Feeling like I have to make a decision right now about whether or not we are going to have another child so that I can move forward with other pursuits. Basically, having everything perfectly in line before I allow myself to “be done”. What this does is serve to shift the focus solely on the destination and pays no mind to the journey it takes to get there. But the thing is, and the cliche is not lost one me, life is the journey. Life is the obstacles that are in the way. Life is all the hurdles you’ve had to leap over – the burdens you’ve had, and have, to bear – the suffering you’ve had to endure. And beyond this, in my rush to ‘just get through it’, I often times – most times – don’t perform to the best of my ability and behave in ways that I am ashamed and embarrassed about when looking back at it all.
The Takeaway: I need to put mindfulness, meditation, and visualization at the top of my list of topics for reading and further exploration.
- Acceptance of death gives you the freedom to truly live.
This is a topic that I’ve barely allowed my mind to scratch the surface of, but one that came into more focus yesterday as I was listening to Jocko Podcast #221: The Unimaginable Path of Jonny Kim. I’m paraphrasing here, but Kim was talking about his experience during deployment in Iraq and how he was able to get himself into the mindset that he was going to die, and that it was okay, because it allowed him the freedom to do his job, uninhibited by the emotion of fear. Him and Jocko went on to discuss this idea that you can do everything right and no matter how prepared you are, it is inevitable that life is going to throw you curve balls – that it is only a matter of time.
This truth used to take me out at the knees – the fear of something bad happening. It has been the source of so much suffering and wasted mental effort. As I have alluded to in previous posts, I have made great strides in this area – but death is the topic that I still avoid like COVID-19… poorly placed and/or insensitive? Sorry, not sorry. What Jocko and Kim reinforced for me during the course of their conversation is that no matter what you do, there are some certainties in life that you can’t run away from. That yes, I can be fully prepared – I can do everything perfectly and I could still get get something like cancer or COVID-19. And no matter how everything else goes down or how it all turns out, I will absolutely die one day. So instead of wasting time dwelling on it – why not use it as inspiration to live life in the most authentic, passionate, and positive ways I possibly can.
The Takeaway: Ponder death more. Go there. Face it. Get on that meditation and mindfulness track – it will help.
- Teaching and my role in it – Struggling to cope with trauma from the trauma.
I gained some profound teaching insights while listening to Jocko Podcast #224: In An Uncertain World, Stack The Deck In Your Favor. With Darryl Cooper. Cooper, like many of my students, came from an unstable home and I found that while listening to him tell his story, I was struck by how little I actually take into account the lives that my students live outside of the school walls. While I strive to create a space that is consistent, predictable, and welcoming, and I do my best to differentiate instruction where I can, I routinely feel like a failure in a vast array of areas, especially areas related to trauma.
If nothing else, this quarantine has “freed up” some space in my mind to ponder things, in relation to teaching, that have been plaguing me for a while. And much of these thoughts center on how to better interact with and support the students who bring their trauma into the classroom everyday.
There’s much to unpack here. But the absolute bottom line is that I can do better – I must do better – I will do better.
The Takeaways: START MY KUHLTEACHER PODCAST ASAP! I firmly believe we need to be talking about about education, in any and all ways, if we ever hope to create meaningful, lasting, and positive change for everyone involved. Also, keep reading, exploring, and striving.
- Not a thought – but my current, seemingly perpetual, mood:
Stay savage friends and Get. It. Done.
If you’re interested in any of this, in my journey, my story, check back weekly. Much more meandering musings and kuhlhuman thoughts to come.
Also! If you have questions about what I write or even suggestions for future blog posts, feel free to leave a comment below or email me at thekuhlhuman@gmail.com.